"could you imagine if it was the wrong solution and he just waterboards the children?"
on "digital intimacy"
watched 31/03 : "do you feel like you can really know someone through the phone?"
i love raw, minimally-edited videos. hearing conflicting povs and getting brief glimpses into different psyches is awesome, too. i've wanted to ramble about this topic for a good while now, and watching this solidified some thoughts i'd left to simmer on low heat.
out of everything mentioned, the anonymity provided by these pesky screens is what stuck out to me the most. callie could be a distorted caricature for all you know. oh, the horror.
depending on how close you are, i'd say you're only getting a selected side of a person rather than them as a whole. i could learn about someone's tastes, opinions, humour, and whatever else through a singular blog entry, playlist, their instagram feed, a repost, etc. but bleeeh. something is still missing. i don't know how to articulate this properly, but the best way i can think of is through a corny metaphor: imagine you're viewing an art exhibit, except maybe 40% of the work is hidden from view. you'd be peeved because you want the full picture (pun intended), no? i'd want my money's worth.
ggrruuhhgg. literally all of this could be applied to real life though. doesn't matter whether it's digital or physical, we only get to know what people choose to show us. it just boils down to what we choose to perceive and how we let others perceive us.
but as someone who values quality time (especially face-to-face), of course i'm partial to saying "well, no. not really." i savour the tangible presence of those around me. i love my friends, ok! i don't think the internet stops you from knowing knowing someone, but i do think it changes what you get to know about them. which, for me, sucks because yes, i'd like to see whether you prefer to rest your chin on your left or right palm.
0:33 : "our online presence is like our second body at this point."
5:10 : "but i think it also leaves room for people to really put on a persona of like, somebody they want to be or that they wish that they could be, but instead they're too afraid to be that person in real life."
8:03 : "the thing about the internet is it's just as challenging as real life. it's hard to know people in life, too. so, it's hard to know people for real. people are very hard to know. and it's also cause people don't know themselves."
8:35 : "humans are always struggling with how hard it is to know each other and to connect. we just have like, totally new methods which add difficulty onto something that's always been difficult."
mixtape #01 "stagnant"
| 01 | she's green - mirrors | 3:40 |
| 02 | 揺れるは幽霊 - echoes of fading girl | 4:39 |
| 03 | air - playground love | 3:32 |
| 04 | honeydip - summer's gone | 6:52 |
| 05 | ivy - any noise | 3:58 |
| 06 | title fight - trace me onto you | 4:03 |
crinkling eyes, fond smiles
- frilly lace trimmings
- rabbits vs. hares
- nice interactions with strangers
- hand-held/jerky cinematography
- audible passion
- soft sea breeze on bare skin
- orange tabby cats
- my mum's homemade ice cream
- sharing earphones
- people who use lots of hand gestures
- 1013, paradise kiss... you know!
- graphite on textured paper
- long email threads
- comfortable silence
reflexive grimaces, deadpan stares
- haruki murakami - norwegian wood
- 100% brightness phones in theatres
- white lies
- trip fontaine
- the kissing booth (2018), vince marcello
- communicating solely through snapchat
wannabe green thumb's wishlist
- fragrant phal orchids
- boat orchid / cymbidium
- waling-waling / vanda sanderiana
- dancing-lady orchid / oncidium
- medinilla magnifica
- philodendron 'pink princess'
- manjula pothos
- variegated monstera
- azalea bonsai tree
tiny desk concerts
08/08/26 — 00:49
05/08/26 — 22:09
oooh you wanna be featured in my music log/zine so bad ohhh..!
on a somewhat serious note, i've had a field day looking through the responses. the hot takes, especially... all of them have been incredibly based, but a few of them have me tickled.
exhibit A: "ok hear me out. the beatles have maybe ten good songs and the rest are either average or terrible. 'i've got a feeling' is one of the worst songs i've ever heard (up there with californication by the red hot chili peppers!) and i can't believe it's made by the same people who made 'hey jude'. i don't know how controversial this is but i'm #speaking my truth"
it's very fun seeing the variety in taste, too. i wholeheartedly believe that music can say a looot about a person. not necessarily through what they're into, but how they approach and engage with it as a whole.
29/07/26 — 00:59 ear - nerves
indifference and inaction are an atrocious combination ShakingMyHead. being raised in a household where silent treatment was the go-to for "avoiding" conflict was bound to leave my views on reconciliation totally fucked. it's why i lowkey highkey hate phrases that go along the lines of "protecting your peace." don't get me wrong, i get the sentiment. i just think it's pretty easy to mistake emotional avoidance for self-preservation. i feel like there's a point where you're protecting your peace a tad bit too hard. in other words, you may or may not be on the serial-conflict-avoider pipeline..? it's situational, but avoiding conflict instead of approaching it head-on gives resentment time to fester. you'd think that's common sense, but i'll admit i had to learn that the hard way. saying what you'll do versus actually doing it are different ball games... confrontation and vulnerable conversations are difficult, no shit. but the discomfort that comes with being open and honest is only temporary. there's a time and place of course, but talk. i promise it'll do you some good.
anyway i had an argument w a friend today n i've yet 2 open his text msgs
27/07/26 — 18:24
dumb: remy from ratatouille gets into an argument. how do u think he'd make amends
dumber: how
dumb: he'd say 'my apolo-cheese'
26/07/26 — 23:38 beach house - somewhere tonight
long bus ride → surprisingly uncrowded beach, gentle wind on damp skin, tooth-decayingly sweet mixed berry smoothies, long walk → desire trails, sunbeams filtering through trees.
perfect, perfect, perfect day excluding the fact i tripped over a tree root after taking this photo and stumbled directly into a patch of nettles. my legs still feel itchy.
23/07/26 — 19:25
woah i hate n love how senses can trigger memories. robin got back from india last week and bought some roll-on perfume sticks. i got a jasmine scented one. when i was younger, my mum would always dab a tiny bit of white jasmine fragrance oil onto the pulse points on my wrists + neck. nostalgia is such a strange feeling...!
17/07/26 — 23:51 she's green - locket
gerbera daisies n baby's breath, i am in a state of abscission