my bad
29/07/26 — 00:59 ear - nerves
indifference and inaction are an atrocious combination ShakingMyHead. being raised in a household where silent treatment was the go-to for "avoiding" conflict was bound to leave my views on reconciliation totally fucked. it's why i lowkey highkey hate phrases that go along the lines of "protecting your peace." don't get me wrong, i get the sentiment. i just think it's pretty easy to mistake emotional avoidance for self-preservation. i feel like there's a point where you're protecting your peace a tad bit too hard. in other words, you may or may not be on the serial-conflict-avoider pipeline..? it's situational, but avoiding conflict instead of approaching it head-on gives resentment time to fester. you'd think that's common sense, but i'll admit i had to learn that the hard way. saying what you'll do versus actually doing it are different ball games... confrontation and vulnerable conversations are difficult, no shit. but the discomfort that comes with being open and honest is only temporary. there's a time and place of course, but talk. i promise it'll do you some good.
anyway i had an argument w a friend today n i've yet 2 open his text msgs
27/07/26 — 18:24
dumb: remy from ratatouille gets into an argument. how do u think he'd make amends
dumber: how
dumb: he'd say 'my apolo-cheese'
26/07/26 — 23:38 beach house - somewhere tonight
long bus ride → surprisingly uncrowded beach, gentle wind on damp skin, tooth-decayingly sweet mixed berry smoothies, long walk → desire trails, sunbeams filtering through trees.
perfect, perfect, perfect day excluding the fact i tripped over a tree root after taking this photo and stumbled directly into a patch of nettles. my legs still feel itchy.
+ since i haven't made my music log yet, i'm logging my favourite listens from july here:
- air - highschool lover
- black eyes - deformative
- the blood brothers - my first kiss at the public execution
- she's green - locket
- chat pile - dallas beltway
- unwound - you bite my tongue
- beach house - somewhere tonight
- the pesos - genetic tendencies
- part time - touch me responsibly
- ... and more, whatever icba
i'm half-tempted to redo all my pages again but i feel like i'll be burned at the stake if i do. i'm never satisfied, sue me. with most things, i like to wait for the "click" once everything actually feels right. buuut if not now, when? that is the question! to more things than one!
23/07/26 — 19:25
woah i hate and love how senses can trigger memories.
robin got back from india last week and bought some roll-on perfume sticks. i got a jasmine scented one. when i was younger, my mum would always dab a tiny bit of white jasmine fragrance oil onto the pulse points on my wrists + neck. nostalgia is such a strange feeling...!
17/07/26 — 23:51 she's green - locket
gerbera daisies n baby's breath, i am in a state of abscission
crickets...